~~How~~ do you >>k.n.o.w<< **Closed**

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As those last three words came out Anya gasped and, before she knew she was doing it, walked a step over to him and lightly kneeled down next to him, laying a hand on his arm.

"You don't have to say anything if it hurts. I understand." She didn't want to make him spill anything to her, a mere student, if it meant hurting him. And something registered in her brain. If he had loved another girl like that, then why was it happening again? Of course, she thought that everyone deserved love in their life but in general stories of soulmateship, which from his description she believed to be for the most part, there was only one soulmate and that was it. Some people were unfortunate enough to lose theres but she'd never heard of a second soulmate...

"You're not his soulmate." The Medusa voice purred
"Yes, I am. Unfortunately." She argued back.
"Of course you're not. He already had one." She purred back, sounding rather annoyed but keeping it's seductive note.
"YES I AM! THAT'S VHY VE CONNECTED!" She shouted at the voice. It shut up.

"I'll tell you that all of my life I've been alone. Not just school vise either, my father abandoned me and my mother died. The only thing I have are the stars, clouds, and Goddess."

[Kenneth Garrett Fortuyn]

He flinched slightly when she touched him, but then relaxed and accepted it, looking up and lacing his own hand upon her hair, ruffling it like a puppy's. He rested his chin upon his knees and gazed, starry-eyed, out across the room to a row of cabinets holding who-knows-what art supplies. He soaked in Anya's deep words. Absently, he rubbed at his gash with his shirt sleeve, pulling it back quickly at the sting again.

"Who is this Goddess?" he asked, half-interested, half-who-knows-where-his-mind-was. The stars and clouds explained her pieces, at least.

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Anya flushed a little as he rumpled her hair.
”Oh. I mean Nyx, the Goddess of the Night.” She looked at a dust bunny on the floor. ”She was supposedly a vampire.” She said softly. Her mind started whirling with thoughts of her beloved Goddess, so dark but beautiful. Just because something is dark, doesn’t mean it’s evil.

And just because something is light doesn't mean it's good...

Anya let her head flop to the side in exhaustion and it landed on Benigno's shoulder. "Don't rub your face, it'll hurt quite a lot."

[Kenneth Garrett Fortuyn]

Benigno didn't quite understand what his student was talking about, but decided to flow with whatever she said. he was about to try to search her for the information, but then felt her head rest upon his shoulder. His mind blurred a bit and he resisted both urges to flinch and run away, and to grab her desperately and start a new make-out session. He let it rest there as he hugged his knees to his chest and gazed through the air at nothing in particular to try to collect his thoughts.

What do I know? he asked himself. Well, I know my student... errm... Anya is in love with me... He thought about that. At least... I think I know that...

I know we are in my room, after class, being intimate.

I know I'll be fired if this gets out, and I know she will be expelled.

And I know I will always remain true to Lynne.

His mind set, he shrugged her head off and stood up, dusting off his pants. He turned to his student and tried to explain what he was thinking and, once again, couldn't.

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As benigno shook her off and stood up she felt once again like something was torn from her. She looked up into his eyes. Even though trying hard, not being able to mask the despair in her eyes and painted all over her face. Instead of getting up and following him she sat there and curled up in a ball and for about the eigth time since moving to the school, another little traitor tear slipped out of her eye. She rested her chin on her knees and tried to conceal her tears with her arms, hoping he wouldn't notice.

"You know vhat's funny?" She said in a soft voice, shifting her eyes from histo the floor and back again. She tried not to sniff but she couldn't help it. A few more silent tears fell and she sniffed again.

[Kenneth Garrett Fortuyn]

Benigno was about to leave, but the sight of a crying girl was pitiful. The sight of tears bursting forth from the oh-so-familiar eyes was heart wrenching.

Benigno still didn't know how to handle the situation. Becoming a teacher, he was so sure he would be ready for whatever life threw at him. Now, he wasn't too sure...

"Awww, don't cry..." he tried to comfort her. He ran his fingers through his hair and sat next to Anya, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, trying to be as unintimate as possible. "It's not like that..."

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"That's not vhy I'm crying. I've handled rejection before. My entire life actually. I know vhat it's like, to not be wanted. To be casted out for who you are, vhat you dress like or sound like or look like. Or vhat your powers are. And sometimes, that you have powers at all. To be called an airhead, a demon, stupid, a retard, to have no one try to understand how you feel or vhy you do vhat you do. But I know most people have never felt that. Ever. And that makes me more of a rejected outcast. But I know vhat it's like to be rejected." She looked up from the spot on the floor that would keep Benigno out of her peripheral vision and now looked him in the eye. She said softly with a steardy, grim, and rather terrifyingly true voice, "I'm crying because ve're in a mess. But the vorst part...I think I can hear some of your thoughts." She let her sentence drop at that. Let him soak it in, and hoped he wouldn't reject her for real this time. Or be scared of her.

[Kenneth Garrett Fortuyn]

Oookaaay, Benigno was starting to get a little scared... Maybe if I left right now, I'd get to keep my privacy...

No! It's not right!

Too bad. You heard the girl. What's one more rejection in her life?

Grrr! He had no idea which sides of his mind were fighting which.

"Great. That must feel terrible," he said, halfheartedly. He really didn't want to deal with any of this anymore. Life was too complicated to make his own decisions. He stood up again and looked down at his student.

"I swear I don't want to reject you or anything, but we really shouldn't be here." He glanced at the clock. "We've been here for a while, and I don't think staying will help the situation anymore..." He offered his hand so she could get up.

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Anya glanced at his hand and turned away. She stood up, brushing off her dress she mumbled "I need a pass." She waited, leaning against a desk and folding her arms tightly across her chest. She was in one of those rare moods when her eyes would turn a blue-violet but she knew from the intensity of it that ehr eyes had to be a deep, dark, indigo color. She could feel the resentment on her face. She had just spilled all of her emotions to a man who had, indeed, rejected her. Whether she wanted to be with him or not, or whether he wanted to be with her or not, she had spilled everything she'd kept bottled up and then she'd gotten rejected after she'd said she hadn't been rejected. Her face flushed. Her blood was almost boiling, with rage, with anguish, with despair, with love, with confusion, with almost every emotion there ever was. All except happiness. Of all of the emotions to feel, happiness was not one of them that was coursing through her right now. She started grinding her teeth.

[Kenneth Garrett Fortuyn]

Benigno found his pad of hall passes and scrawled one for Anya. He tried to avoid her gaze, feeling ashamed, angry, sad, happy...

He tore off the sheet of paper and handed it to her, glancing into her eyes. They pulsated a deep, dark indigo color, and he immediately tore away, about to cry and scream. Now, more than ever, he was drowning in his desperation for Lynne. Every fiber if his being screamed at him. He wanted to kiss her, to kill himself, to kill her. He didn't know what was happening. Was it love? Was it a burning hatred for the girl who replaced his love? Jealousy? Anguish?

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Anya reached out to grab the pass but he snatched it away from her. She glanced up and saw the look on his face, disintagrating all of her hatred. Her eyes widened a little. "Vhat?" "Vhat's vrong? I thought you wanted me to leave." As she said the last words she felt her mind immediately snap back to the ugly feelings she'd had engrossing her before, all the hatred and anguish and annoyance and despair, but of course she wasn't fortunate enough to feel an ounce of happiness, not at all. She resisted the instinctive comforting that her brain told her to do, to reach out for him, but she held still, folding her arms tightly again, almost choking herself. She snatched the pass from his hand and started walking out the door, trying to keep him frok dong anything more to himself. At the door she hesitated...

[Kenneth Garrett Fortuyn]

Benigno watched her leave with a sinking feeling in his heart. He could feel it drop steadily... and drop... and drop...

He wanted to reach out so badly-- to run forward and repeat the life-altering incident. To go back to that sacred place and time under the door, when everything was clear. His arms seemed to rise by themselves...

No! That's your student! That's wrong! It's forbidden! It's illegal! It's disturbing! It's CHEATING ON LYNNE!!!! his mind screamed at him. The very last part tore him up. He caught himself and quickly dropped his rising hands, clasping them together behind his back. There's no way, he told himself. There's no way I'm going to take advantage of this misguided student and lead her down the wrong path. Stay cool. Keep calm. As soon as she walks out that door, you're feel fine. You're realize it was all a fluke-- a misunderstanding. Nothing happened here. Forget about it. Move on.

He tried to manage a smile for Anya-- to pretend that everything was a-okay in his mind-- but only managed a tight-lipped grimace. He felt his nails dig into his hands as he resisted every law of his human nature and tried to stand firm and still.