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Post by Kenneth Garrett Fortuyn on Oct 14, 2009 19:55:25 GMT -5
Benigno watched her take her seat again. He was still shaken, unable to put his thumb on what had just happened. His heart was still pounding and his hands tingled where he held her. Where he held Anya...
It's so close... He continued to walk around the room.Her name... "It's alright, students, no need to be alarmed." Her name is so... close... "Continue working." They're so close... Anya and Aya--
"STOP."
He felt the students look up, warily, wondering what their obviously mad teacher could be saying this time. He realized he had said that aloud. "Umm... continue working! I mean... 10 minutes before we stop!" He mussed up his hair, groaning in his head.
Ayanna.
Benigno slammed a fist into a desk. At the gazes of his students he muttered something about a bug. He counted the seconds, glad when, at last, the final tick rang out into the room, clear as a shotgun. "Put your projects away; if they are wet, please place them on the drying rack." He watched the students shuffle around the room. "When you are done, you may leave to go to your next class. For homework, please write a paragraph or two about why you chose the subject you created in class today."
It's over! It's really over! That was the WORST class ever.
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\\Blank//
j u n i o r
This is my roleplaying account ^.^
Posts: 53
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Post by \\Blank// on Oct 14, 2009 20:15:47 GMT -5
Anya felt a little twinge of dissappointment as class ended and everyone shuffled out. Wanting to stay as long as possible she took her time walking out of the room, staying behind the mass that flowed out the door. She let her head drop, her hair falling in front of her face but she secretly peeped at Benigno out of the corner of her eyes.
And as soon as she hit the door, the answer Goddess had been whispering to her before came back. Love. She gaped, not knowing what to do. She was in love with her teacher? Her new art teacher? The one with wonderful, mussy, brown-red hair, and those gem-sparkle eyes that shone the color of the rarest jewels-- She stopped herself. She shouldn't be thinking about a teacher this way. It was against the rules. But she really couldn't help it. She seemed to be bending all sorts of rules lately.
That's when she figured out why she hadn't known what the feeling was in the first place. Because she'd never actually felt love like that before. Especially not that strong. Did everyone have such strong and strange feelings like this when they were in love? She had no clue but it certainly was confusing.
She snapped back and realized she was standing in his doorway, all the other students having left already. She glanced up quickly, turned red in the cheeks and went to step out the door.
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Post by Kenneth Garrett Fortuyn on Oct 14, 2009 20:43:27 GMT -5
Once the last student was out of the door, Benigno pulled out the nearest chair from under its desk, sat in it, and let his emotions cloud over his body. He tucked his knees up and buried his head in them and cried. Just cried right there, out of sight from the door, but still in public. His last class was over and he had all the freedom he wanted to just cry.
Oh, Lynne. Sweet, sweet Lynne. Why did you have to go? Why? We would have been so good together. We would have been married by now, together forever, just like I promised you. I only want you. I hope you know that. please, Lynne. Come back! I miss you! I want you! I need you! Lynne! Oh, Lynne, why?
Efforts are futile. She's never coming back.
Shut up! You don't know that!
She's gone. She left you, and she's never coming back.
It's not fair!
Yes, it is.
Silence.
Benigno tried to drown himself in happier memories. He and Lynne and their first kiss together, all alone, in a quiet corner of the room when no one was watching. The smell, the feeling. Her eyes...
Lynne morphed in his mind. Shorter, longer hair, velvety smooth eyes...
No!
Yes!
He lept out of his chair and blindly ran to a familiar cabinet, tears trailing and splashing on the floor. He found it. The blades used for clay sculpting. He brought it to his face and found himself in the real world again, feeling fresh and relieved.
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\\Blank//
j u n i o r
This is my roleplaying account ^.^
Posts: 53
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Post by \\Blank// on Oct 15, 2009 15:14:02 GMT -5
Anya wanted to go back to that class so bad, such and urge to go back, she made up an excuse. She came up with a question about the homework. So she dashed back to the art room, question handy and just wanting, anticipating that prickly feeling as she looked into those eyes again. But when she walked in her feeling was anything but prickly. She saw Benigno with blood dripping down his face, a razor in hand, crying. Her eyes popped open and she bounded over in a couple of steps. "Benigno!" She cried. What had happened? Had he cut himself? Why? He seemed like such a cheerful person.
She layed a hand on his shoulder, reaching up to grab his chin and turn his face so she could check the damage. She ignored the electrifying tingles going up and down her spine as their skin touched so as to waste no time. "Vhy?" Vhy did you do zis to yourself?" She pleaded, despair heavy in her eyes and voice. And she knew then that it wasn't just a crush, it was love. She loved him. Deeply and honestly.
She grabbed the bar of soap on the side of the sink, dashed to the other side of the room to the cabinet that held the smocks, and dashed back to him, all in a matter of a couple seconds. She placed the soap on his gash and then proceeded to string the twoel and wrap the soap up tightly against his head, apply as much force as possible all the while being gentle. "You don't look too badly hurt. Are you alright?" Nothing but compassion and worry tainted her eyes now. There was a single tear that slipped out of the corner of her eye as she saw the man she loved hurt.
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Post by Kenneth Garrett Fortuyn on Oct 15, 2009 15:53:36 GMT -5
"Aah..." he replied, somewhat dazed, trying to make something up... before the soap started burning through his veins. "Augh!" he cried, and lept up to avoid the sting. He saw a student standing beside him, and was about to yell when he saw a flash of violet and realized it was Anya.
Anya! his mind screamed. Anya! It's a sign! It's a dream! It's a gift!
"Am I really bleeding?..." he asked warily, in a totally real daze of idiocy. He reached up with one hand and grazed his face gently with his fingers, only to pull back in shock as a raw sting slapped at his cheek. His fingers were coated with red. "Aah..." As if that explained something...
"It's not what you think," he said cooly, still in check with his normal self, immersed at the sight of his blood. "I sli--" he began, but then casually gazed into her worried eyes and froze.
How can you lie to those eyes? Those are the eyes of your one and only love. If you lie, she'll leave you again.
I hate you. I hate myself. And I especially hate this stupid mind. I hate you.
Thank you.
"Awww, don't cry," he said, embarrassed. He tried to wipe away her stray tear-- it clung to her face and refused to fall-- but he only succeeded in smearing blood on her face, too. "Ahhh..." he started, feeling drained.
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\\Blank//
j u n i o r
This is my roleplaying account ^.^
Posts: 53
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Post by \\Blank// on Oct 16, 2009 17:33:49 GMT -5
Anya's lower lip trembled and her eyes filled up with sparkling tears as she saw the dazed and conflicting look in his eyes. When he tried to wipe her tear she layed her hand on his and closed her eyes. With out realizing it she took a step toward him. She was about to take another step when the thought flitted through the back of her mind, the corner, the far, dark corner, the pessimist corner. "He doesn't want you. He's a teacher, he's older, more mature. Just because you love him doesn't mean he loves you back." The voice purred in satisfaction as she stopped shuffling forward. That thought alone broke into million pieces that pierced her heart. But worse than that, it pierced and tore her fragile soul and she bled heavily through the wounds.
She dropped his hand, swiftly-- and reluctantly-- sliding away and sitting at a desk. She dropped her head in her hands and her hair fell around her face, concieling the increasing tears dropping from her sodden face.
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Post by Kenneth Garrett Fortuyn on Oct 16, 2009 17:42:15 GMT -5
Benigno had no idea how to react. When her hand reached his, he no longer felt the electric shock he had felt before. Instead, he felt a sort of pain... but it felt nice. It was almost calming, but it made him anxious for more. He was even more perplexed when she drew away, sitting at a desk and slouching in a miserable fashion.
He walked over to where she sat and crouched by her chair. "Hey, now..." he said, trying to soothe her. His mind was racing, trying to figure a way out of this tough dilemma. He finally pushed her hair behind her ear and coaxed his fingers under her chin, pulling her tear-stained face up so they could see each other.
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\\Blank//
j u n i o r
This is my roleplaying account ^.^
Posts: 53
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Post by \\Blank// on Oct 16, 2009 17:59:52 GMT -5
Anya let Benigno lift her face to his. She didn't want to fight back. His face was as contorted as hers. They were both a mess. She sighed and turned her eyes down. "Vhy? Vhy vould you do that?" She whispered hoarsly. That wasn't the only thing going through her mind. She wanted to know why she had to love him of all people. A teacher, an older man, a very depressed man. And the teacher of her favorite subject, she thought with grim humor. "Vhy?" She whispered again, all the grief and anger and hatred and confusion and anguish she felt went into that one, grief-stricken, heavily accented word
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Post by Kenneth Garrett Fortuyn on Oct 16, 2009 18:07:11 GMT -5
Benigno could feel different parts of his mind grappling like starved dogs over fresh meat. The effort to think made him want to shoot himself-- not that he would, of course.
"If I could tell you," he said, looking straight into her eyes and letting himself fall victim to his memories. "I would." He watched her reaction. "I don't see why it would matter, though," he said, standing up, turning away, and stretching his limbs. "My life isn't any business to you."
He turned back around to face his student. "Now, then. Was there something you wanted to come back for?"
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\\Blank//
j u n i o r
This is my roleplaying account ^.^
Posts: 53
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Post by \\Blank// on Oct 16, 2009 18:31:42 GMT -5
Anya's eyebrows knitted together as he said it wasn't her business. She could tell that those memories hurt him and she didn't even have time to fight herself before she was jumping up and out of her chair and grabbing him. She spun him around, placed her hand on his good cheek, and stretched up, brushing her lips against his. She knew it was wrong and she didn't even know why she was doing it. She put more pressure into it, but kept it gentle and let it last as long as she dared. She pulled away and took a quick breath. She didn't look at his eyes, but she dropped her gaze and immediately turned away. "I'll leave, I'm sorry. I-I von't say anything. Feel better." She grabbed her sweatshirt and was about to head out the door.
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Post by Kenneth Garrett Fortuyn on Oct 16, 2009 18:46:43 GMT -5
For a split second, everything in Benigno's head went totally blank. Then, every thought he ever had seemed to crash upon his skull with a tremendous force that rattled his very being. He finally got a small portion of his mind free and saw Anya leaving. He could feel all of his skin blushing hard enough to tan and quite possibly burn. That can't be too good... he thought, absently wiping his cheek with his shirt sleeve.
"Anya!" he cried out desperately. He ran forward to catch her right under the doorway and swung her around as she had done to him a moment before. He hesitated for a second-- What am I DOING!??! This isn't right!-- but went by impulse for the first time in his life. With one hand, he pressed the small of Anya's back into his own body, forcing a long, hard, open-mouth kiss on her lips. With his other hand, he closed the door and pulled her out of view of its window.
This is wrong. This is wrong! Pull away!
This is so right...
No! Lynne! Think of Lynne! Lynne would not want this!
No... this IS Lynne. Lynne is here. Now. Forever.
Reluctantly, Benigno drew back and pulled his student into his arms. "Oh Lynne..." he whispered, burying his head into her hair, gasping for air.
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\\Blank//
j u n i o r
This is my roleplaying account ^.^
Posts: 53
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Post by \\Blank// on Oct 16, 2009 18:56:00 GMT -5
Anya was somewhat startled at what Benigno did next. She felt him grab her and pull her in and then they wre kissing again. And it felt joyous this time, not like the one before where it felt like she had to prove something. She pulled away breathless and that's when she figured something out: That he did love her back. He had had the same impulse to do what she had done a few moments before. She curled up against his chest as he laid his face in her hair. And the name Lynne startled her. It echoed in her head, rolling around a bit and it strangely didn't bring up any questions, instead it fit into a little knick in her mind. She stood comfortably in his arms, his scent filling her up, making her chest swell and her head spin. How had it come to this? "Shut up and enjoy it, don't question it." Something flicked at her in her mind. She obeyed willingly and stopped questioning all together, basking in his warmth.
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Post by Kenneth Garrett Fortuyn on Oct 18, 2009 19:03:23 GMT -5
Benigno stood there, as well, savoring the moment, letting everything flow out of his mind. Just me and Lynne, he thought in a state of euphoria. Lynne... Oh, Lynne, I love you.
That's not Lynne.
The two components of his mind had now switched places. He was now so sure he had his love back, and his subconscious was telling him otherwise after convincing him in the first place. He didn't understand what his own mind was saying-- what it was trying to tell him.
Until it snapped into place.
"Oh my--" he suddenly stepped back, almost knocking into a desk. He took in Anya with his eyes and felt so many emotions at once-- confusion, betrayal, anger, sadness. That's not Lynne! He covered his eyes with his hand in shame.
"Look... I'm sorry," he muttered. "I..." he trailed off, not sure what to say. I'm so stupid! What am I doing!??!
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\\Blank//
j u n i o r
This is my roleplaying account ^.^
Posts: 53
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Post by \\Blank// on Oct 19, 2009 14:13:37 GMT -5
Anya felt abruptly cold and empty as Benigno tore away. She turned her face to the ground and ultimately decided not to shy away from the problem but, now that she knew that she wasn't the only one experiencing the issue, pushed forward through it. They needed to solve it, figure out what the hell was going on with the two of them. Sort it out and put an end to it.
"You can't put an end to it. There never will be an end. Besides, you won't even let it end, you don't want it to." the voice in the dark corner of her mind taunted her. It was like medusa trying to seduce a man and it irked her.
She pushed away the voice in her mind with a large mental budge and proceeded to plow into the lingering issue. "Look, I know something is going on. Vhat just happened vas an irrational thing to do and I am not one to do irrational things. I can only speak for myself vhen I say zhat but...I think I saw it in your eyes. Something is wrong here. Ve need to figure out vhat it is." She was about to step towards him but thought twice about it and shuffled her feet in front of her. She looked down and began picking at a loose string in the band around her mid-section on her sparkling black and violet dress. Her face turned red as she waited for a reply. What could have caused that random moment of confidence? Especially with a teacher? Especially alone with a teacher? especially alone with a teacher who had just cut himself in the face? Especially alone with a teacher whom had just cut himself in the face and who she had just kissed and then he had kissed her back...
"Oh Goddess..." She thought helplessly.
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Post by Kenneth Garrett Fortuyn on Oct 19, 2009 14:41:32 GMT -5
Benigno had no idea how to respond. These past few minutes seemed to turn his brain into mush. He tried to stare at the floor, but Anya's fingering her midsection drew his attention, and when he realized what he was doing, he stopped himself and looked down again.
"I don't know..." he finally murmured. He didn't feel like talking about his personal life. He wanted to just go somewhere dark and empty where thoughts did not exist and nothing mattered. He wanted Lynne.
He sighed, deciding there was no way to escape his fate. He began.
"I used to be an average kid, just like you," he said to the floor, rubbing his forehead and eyes with a hand. "I was going through high school surrounded by friends and my loving family."
He took a deep, shaky breath. "When I entered college during my freshman year, I met..." he paused, not sure how to continue. "I met... a girl." He blushed a little, ashamed that he was spilling to a student who, just an hour or so ago, had not existed in his life. "Her name was Lynne." He couldn't continue, but forced himself to burrow into his old memories. He didn't know how to put that feeling into words. "We weren't in love-- it was more than that. We needed each other, and we were always together, and we centered each others' lives." He almost smiled. Almost.
"Lynne and I were supposed to get married after I graduated..." Here came the hard part. Benigno really, truly did not know how to go on. He leaned against the desk behind him and slid down to the floor, eyes still covered. He buried his head between his knees, but did not break down. Surprisingly, his eyes were tear-free and his voice was smooth.
"And she died."
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